PunchlineFunny cards for every occasion. With a little edge.
Prof. Hargrove

Professor Hargrove: Funny Cards with Footnotes

Opens with a fact. Closes with the truth.

Professor Hargrove opens every card with a fact and closes with the truth. He has a citation for everything, including why you’re not getting any younger.

His cards are perfect for the smart, slightly nerdy people in your life: teachers, graduates, coworkers, and anyone who enjoys a joke that requires reading the first line twice.

Prof. Hargrove has cards for every occasion. Every card works the same way: the front sets up the joke, your recipient clicks to open it, and the punchline lands inside with your own note printed in smaller type right below it. Pick a card, add their name and a line or two of your own, and send it by email or text now or on the day you choose. Each card is $2.99, or save with a 5-card pack or the annual pass.

30 cards · $2.99 each

Prof. Hargrove thinking of you card: The average person has about 6,000 thoughts a day.Prof. Hargrove · Thinking of YouThe average person has about 6,000 thoughts a day.Prof. Hargrove birthdays card: A group of owls is a parliament. A group of crows, a murder.Prof. Hargrove · BirthdaysA group of owls is a parliament. A group of crows, a murder.Prof. Hargrove birthdays card: Light from distant stars can be thousands of years old.Prof. Hargrove · BirthdaysLight from distant stars can be thousands of years old.Prof. Hargrove anniversary card: Some seahorse couples greet each other with a dance each morning.Prof. Hargrove · AnniversarySome seahorse couples greet each other with a dance each morning.Prof. Hargrove engagement card: Diamonds form under extreme heat and pressure.Prof. Hargrove · EngagementDiamonds form under extreme heat and pressure.Prof. Hargrove new baby card: A newborn can recognize its mother’s voice at birth.Prof. Hargrove · New BabyA newborn can recognize its mother’s voice at birth.Prof. Hargrove graduation card: At commencement, the tassel moves from right to left.Prof. Hargrove · GraduationAt commencement, the tassel moves from right to left.Prof. Hargrove promotion card: The Peter Principle: we rise to our level of incompetence.Prof. Hargrove · PromotionThe Peter Principle: we rise to our level of incompetence.Prof. Hargrove retirement card: Studies suggest retirees are happier than workers.Prof. Hargrove · RetirementStudies suggest retirees are happier than workers.Prof. Hargrove thank you card: Research suggests people who say thank you are seen as more likable.Prof. Hargrove · Thank YouResearch suggests people who say thank you are seen as more likable.Prof. Hargrove breakups & divorce card: Fun fact: the octopus has three hearts.Prof. Hargrove · Breakups & DivorceFun fact: the octopus has three hearts.Prof. Hargrove breakups & divorce card: Swans are famous for mating for life.Prof. Hargrove · Breakups & DivorceSwans are famous for mating for life.Prof. Hargrove losing your job card: A three-toed sloth travels roughly 40 yards a day.Prof. Hargrove · Losing Your JobA three-toed sloth travels roughly 40 yards a day.Prof. Hargrove losing your job card: The word “salary” may trace back to the Latin for salt.Prof. Hargrove · Losing Your JobThe word “salary” may trace back to the Latin for salt.Prof. Hargrove illness card: The common cold can be caused by more than 200 viruses.Prof. Hargrove · IllnessThe common cold can be caused by more than 200 viruses.Prof. Hargrove sympathy card: There is no formula for grief.Prof. Hargrove · SympathyThere is no formula for grief.Prof. Hargrove hurt on the job card: 95% of workplace injuries can be prevented by one simple rule.Prof. Hargrove · Hurt on the Job95% of workplace injuries can be prevented by one simple rule.Prof. Hargrove hurt on the job card: Research identifies the most dangerous phrase in any workplace.Prof. Hargrove · Hurt on the JobResearch identifies the most dangerous phrase in any workplace.Prof. Hargrove hurt doing a hobby card: The adult human body contains 206 bones.Prof. Hargrove · Hurt Doing a HobbyThe adult human body contains 206 bones.Prof. Hargrove hurt doing a hobby card: A cheetah can reach 60 mph in about three seconds.Prof. Hargrove · Hurt Doing a HobbyA cheetah can reach 60 mph in about three seconds.Prof. Hargrove new year’s day card: Most New Year’s resolutions are abandoned by February.Prof. Hargrove · New Year’s DayMost New Year’s resolutions are abandoned by February.Prof. Hargrove valentine’s day card: Swans famously mate for life.Prof. Hargrove · Valentine’s DaySwans famously mate for life.Prof. Hargrove easter card: Rabbits do not, in fact, lay eggs.Prof. Hargrove · EasterRabbits do not, in fact, lay eggs.Prof. Hargrove mother’s day card: By one count, mothers field nearly 300 questions a day.Prof. Hargrove · Mother’s DayBy one count, mothers field nearly 300 questions a day.Prof. Hargrove father’s day card: Field studies confirm the average dad tells several dad jokes a week.Prof. Hargrove · Father’s DayField studies confirm the average dad tells several dad jokes a week.Prof. Hargrove fourth of july card: John Adams expected us to celebrate on July 2nd.Prof. Hargrove · Fourth of JulyJohn Adams expected us to celebrate on July 2nd.Prof. Hargrove back to school card: Studies confirm that learning things is good for you.Prof. Hargrove · Back to SchoolStudies confirm that learning things is good for you.Prof. Hargrove halloween card: Jack-o’-lanterns were first carved from turnips.Prof. Hargrove · HalloweenJack-o’-lanterns were first carved from turnips.Prof. Hargrove thanksgiving card: The average Thanksgiving dinner runs to thousands of calories.Prof. Hargrove · ThanksgivingThe average Thanksgiving dinner runs to thousands of calories.Prof. Hargrove christmas card: To finish on time, Santa must visit roughly 1,000 homes per second.Prof. Hargrove · ChristmasTo finish on time, Santa must visit roughly 1,000 homes per second.