Funny Birthday Cards
A birthday card doesn’t have to rhyme, sparkle, or pretend that turning another year older is a gift. Our funny birthday cards are written the way people really talk to the people they love: with a little teasing, a little truth, and a punchline waiting inside.
Every card opens with a click to reveal the joke, and you add your own short note underneath. They work for a best friend, a brother who still owes you money, a coworker you actually like, or a parent who has heard every birthday joke ever made. Send it right away or schedule it for the morning of the big day.
This collection has 21 funny birthday ecards from Bev, Walt, Prof. Hargrove, Hank, Sgt. Briggs, Darlene, Philo, Maddie, Tyler, Nurse Rhonda, Dr. Howard, Harlan, Esq., Madame Lucille, Gus and Duchess. Each one opens with a click: the front sets up the joke and the punchline waits inside, with your personal note printed right underneath. Add their name, write your note, and send it by email or text, right away or scheduled for the day. Cards are $2.99 each, with a 5-card pack and an annual pass if you send a lot of them.
21 cards · $2.99 each · personalize and send in minutes
Bev · BirthdaysYou’re not getting older, dear.
Bev · BirthdaysYou don’t look a day over…
Walt · BirthdaysAnother birthday.
Walt · BirthdaysAt your age, I was already complaining about my knees.
Prof. Hargrove · BirthdaysA group of owls is a parliament. A group of crows, a murder.
Prof. Hargrove · BirthdaysLight from distant stars can be thousands of years old.
Hank · BirthdaysAnother year older.
Hank · BirthdaysThe cows don’t know how old you are.
Sgt. Briggs · BirthdaysHappy birthday, recruit.
Darlene · BirthdaysAnother birthday? Bless your heart.
Philo · BirthdaysThe unexamined life is not worth living.
Maddie · BirthdaysOMG happy birthday!!
Tyler · BirthdaysHappy birthday, dude.
Nurse Rhonda · BirthdaysAnother birthday. Nurse Rhonda has seen the chart.
Dr. Howard · BirthdaysHappy birthday from Dr. Howard.
Harlan, Esq. · BirthdaysAnother birthday. Harlan has reviewed your case.
Madame Lucille · BirthdaysHappy birthday, sugar. Lucille has a gift for you.
Madame Lucille · BirthdaysAnother birthday, darlin’?
Gus · BirthdaysGus got off the couch to say happy birthday.
Gus · BirthdaysGus calculated your age in dog years.
Duchess · BirthdaysDuchess has been informed it’s your birthday.What to write in a funny birthday card
- Lead with the joke, then add one line that’s sincere. The contrast is what makes it land.
- Age jokes work best for people who joke about their own age first.
- Inside jokes beat generic ones. Mention one specific memory in your note.
- Running late? A digital card sent at 8 a.m. on the day still counts as on time.